U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
