i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
