Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
