yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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