wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
