Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think my vagina is haunted
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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