if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
