Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
