u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
