WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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