Kiss
Puke
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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