Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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