Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i think im in europe. pls send help
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
