genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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