Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
