That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
