The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
