Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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