so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
