so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
