Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
