It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
