When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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