My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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