I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
