In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
