he shaved USA in his pubs
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
