i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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