dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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