i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
