May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
