I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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