i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
