Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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