It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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