how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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