I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
