Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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