thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
