highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
