i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
