told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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