my mouth tastes like poor choices
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
