Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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