Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
