I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
high people should be assigned attendants
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
