i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
