I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
