Please, let me fuck your mom
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
NoShamevember. You game?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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