This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
