I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
