remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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