Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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