I'm going to jail i love you
Soap is not a condiment
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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