It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
