Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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