We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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