So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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