Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
