why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
