obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I party with great urgency now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
