so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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