I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
