i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
