Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
